INTERESTS   

MY HOBBIES INCLUDE   

Kyle Johnson was born at a very young age. From the very beginning the elders in his home village knew that he possessed a very special ability. not the ability to fly, or the power of invisibility, or even the ability to read. no...it was actually quite useless. It was the power to charm women with such astonishing ease and confidence, that no man, no matter how handsome, had any chance of competing with his ama-za-spledious good looks. ok, i lie. However, he had the ability of making up incredibly ridiculous shit. an intangible quality that although pointless in nearly every facet of daily life...seemed to serve him well in his spartan training. Oh thats right, i forgot to tell you. he is a spartan. So like...chiseled, and ripped and stuf

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU HAD 1 MILLION DOLLARS?

Just look at the picture, man. Anyways, after his short stint as the leader of the free world. He thought he would try his luck in the professional athletic arena. Johnson was a power forward for the Boston Celtics from '78 to '92, once scoring 20 points in a single quarter against the Atlanta Hawks... Wait -- that was Larry Bird. A chronic liar, he has 25 pound testicles and once traveled back in time to punch Hitler. As a 13 year old prodigy, he scored a perfect 1600 on his SAT's but opted out of the universities, stating that college was for pussies. 3 years later, after an abusive relationship with Martha Stewart and countless admittances into rehab for his almost constant binge drinking; Kyle finally enrolled in a community college

NAME SOME QUALITIES YOU LOOK FOR IN THE OPPOSITE SEX

somewhere in Canada. Mistakingly identified as Takeru Kobayashi of Japan, Kyle ate 50 hot dogs in twelve minutes. shattering the previous record of nearly 25. However, his stomach could not handle the enormous amount of wiener consumed, and shortly after his record setting day he was stricken with E.D. Struggling for work, and with his love life on the rocks due to his illness. Kyle became a spokesman for Cialis. After nearly 6 months on the medicine he was a healed man, and back to erection perfection.

WHAT ARE YOUR FUTURE GOALS?

(ok that last part was a complete fabrication, i really just wanted to find a scenario where i could reference the term 'erection perfection'...back to the biography). So somewhere between the years of 2003 and 2007 he invented the internet. or something...yadda yadda, its like 12:20 am and time for bed. so like, he is a totally awesome dude, and chicks should want to date him...i'm sure there will be more to update, as the life of Kyle is never ending, and sometimes exciting.

FAVOURITE QUOTE

...Oh, and he is also way too into himself.

FINAL WORDS

discovering _ jared hot mail. com